Great Oak Gazette

Zahreen Danesh’29

Staff Writer

I was proud that the forest hadn’t changed a lot. I took in the fresh air as I led the way on the path. It was like a whispered memory, how the trees still know my name and voice. I was quite happy to move back, after ten years, I missed the natural forests, the rural neighborhoods, and seeing the mountains. Living in New York was alright, but all the industrialization was tiring; Central Park was a refresher for me. I was shocked when my mother wanted to move back, she said it was calling her there…

“Jax,” I heard a calm voice call, “I wouldn’t have come if you were going to speed ahead,.” hHe said, annoyed.

I immediately stopped in my tracks, finding myself in a foolish mistake. “Sorry, Teddy, I was deep in thought,.” I spun around quickly to see how far he was from me; he wasn’t that far, luckily, but I still ran back to him.

I watched as he slowly made his way over some steep terrain, holding onto tree branches for support. “I got it,” he reassured me when I held out my arms in case he stumbled, “aAnd you know I don’t go by ‘Teddy’ anymore,.” hHe told me when he finished his careful pacing.

I gave him a grin, “Yes, yes, I know, you’re Theo now,.” I simply told him as I walked beside him, “bBut I think Teddy fits you better, you’re cute and sweet like a bear.”

He scoffed at my comment, “That’s a controversial opinion.” I didn’t know what to comment on his answer. Theodore has been my friend since kindergarten. After moving away at seven, I was scared I wouldn’t see him again. Now, those ten years did a lot to him.

I looked at his face, trying to find the boy I remembered. His ocean eyes were tired and dreary, his lips in a permanent frown. He looked  exhausted and done with life, like he was not happy with it. However, I couldn’t help but see the same scared, gentle face from when we were younger –, the quiet boy who comforted my cries and dreamed with me. “Nah, it’s really not,” I finally said, breaking the silence, “You’re still my Teddy Bear,” I winked at him.

He seemed to stiffen, clearing his throat. I noticed a slight flush go to his cheeks, creating a pretty pink hue. His face was still flushed when he spoke, “What were you thinking about?”

I was going to make another joke, but stopped myself— there was no need for another. “About how much I missed this place,” I said, spinning around, to take in all angles of the beautiful forest before looking back at him, who had stopped. 

He nodded as he looked around, “It has always been a secret sanctuary for nature,” he said.  I watched him in awe; his thinking has never changed. I hate that it hasn’t.

I walked back to his side as he took a seat on a log. “That’s almost beautiful,” I said, but he didn’t reply. He unbandaged his leg, rubbing his knee. I bit my lip. “Still not feeling good?” I asked.

“No,” he stared me dead in the eyes, his mood shifting quickly. “Ever since you dropped me, it’s never been the same. I already told you it’ll never heal,.” hHe said sharply., Hhis eyes pierced my skin with hatred. I couldn’t answer the unanswered hatred. At age seven, we were exploring a forest where we found a stone tablet with a carving on it. After hanging around it for quite some time, we started to hear moans and cries that were faint at first, but gradually got closer. We ran, I tripped and scratched my eye, leaving a scar, but Teddy got it worse; he fell into a pit, and I caught him before he fell. I was going to pull him out, but I watched as he turned into a grotesque being; black tears streamed from his eyes as he seemed to be gagging on the same darkness. Moaning and crying for me, I felt a million eyes watch as if the unknown was behind me… “Jax,” his voice snapped my thoughts again. He wasn’t annoyed or angry; his voice was soft, almost like a crisp whisper. I looked at his face—his oval glasses reflected the rising stars, their light caught in   his blue eyes.

I took some time to consider my words. I took a shaky breath. ,  I murmured, “Right… sorry…” I didn’t know how many times I was going to have to apologize—not that it mattered.  I felt awful. I ruined his life. After a while, he bandaged it back up and put a steady hand on the log, pushing himself slowly up. It looked painful for him, but I knew he wouldn’t let me help.  

He stopped suddenly, like he was frozen in time, looking dead ahead. I glanced, trying to see what he was looking for. “Hey, could you help me up?” I spun around, half-expecting he was joking, but he wasn’t. I just stared, I couldn’t believe he was asking me for help, standing up. He held out his arm, but I had a better idea. I slipped an arm around his waist,  and he gasped, “H-hey!”

“What?” I asked, swinging around and putting him on the ground next to me. He grounded himself, making sure he was still. “I just helped you off, I should honestly be thanked.” I scoffed, and looked over to…see his…reach…there was a willow tree…

“Jax!” He shook me fiercely, “Are you alright?”

I gave him a confused look, “Am I ok? What are you saying?!” I pushed his hands away. All of a sudden, a headache pounded loudly in my head, taking up my thoughts and concentration. I groaned, rubbing my head. I saw bright spots and dots fluttering around my eyes, burning in my ears. Teddy kept his hands firmly on my shoulders, squeezing me as if trying to bring me back. He kept pushing me back upwards, keeping me from falling over. I didn’t know what was happening to me; it felt like the tree was whispering, talking to me in a way. It was like a calling. I placed my hand on his, rubbing my thumb over his skin, trying to feel for something I’m familiar with. I closed my eyes, focusing on his whispering and hold. My mind started clearing; the bright spots I used to see were disappearing. I could hear his whispers now, “It couldn’t be now, I need you back, Jax, I…I-”

“Yeah?” I asked, my voice weak and hoarse. I regained my balance, coming back to my world. I cleared my throat, pushing everything back down. “Hello, hello,” I tested my voice to see if it was back to normal. I sighed in relief. “Ah, there we go,” I said to him. “What were you gonna say?” I asked, intrigued by his response.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He kept muttering words. If only I could see his face better, but the night had crept its darkness over us. “I…” he took a breath hastily, as if controlling his mind, “What happened?” He finally asked, taking my shoulders again. It wasn’t firm like last time, but a gentle touch of reassurance.

“I…” I didn’t even know where to begin, “It…it was that willow tree, it…it was like it was calling, asking, wanting me to come over…” I gulped, “Is that weird?”

He looked around, trying to catch at best a small glimpse of the tree. He suddenly dug in his pocket and took out his phone and a book. When he turned his flashlight on, I found it wasn’t a book but a journal. , Mmy grandfather’s journal. I recently found it in the attic when moving back. It seemed normal at first, but started getting cryptic and… scary. Since I’m no puzzle solver, I gave it to Teddy, hoping he’ll solve the unreadable smudges. He closed the journal, now eyeing me as if I had done something wrong. I felt guilty like I had done something wrong. “It’s not weird,” I felt surprised by his calm answer, “In fact, your grandfather seems to talk about willows a lot-”

“What?! Let me see,” I moved quickly on my feet to appear behind him and looked down at the pages…still those smudges, “Where is it?” I asked again, squinting as if I missed the words like they would come magically to me.

He sighed, “Right here,” he acknowledged, tracing his finger across a smudge, “It might be smudged beyond reading, but it’s also in Latin, reads out ‘willow’” he flipped through the pages. “Multiple pages say that, it shouldn’t be a coincidence that a willow makes you dizzy.” He concluded, shutting the book.

I stared in awe, “You know Latin?” I knew that bBrainiac could do more with the journal than I could ever; It was, the right choice giving it to him.

He shrugged, “Only a little.” He admitted, when he noticed my staring, he looked away, clearing his throat, “W-we should be heading back-”

I wasn’t able to make out his words as my thoughts about the willow clouded over., I felt intrigued. What was that tree hiding from me? Maybe it has answers about my grandfather. “We should go explore,” I exclaimed, and before he could protest, I was already making my way down. It was downhill but not steep as I watched my footing.

“Jax!” He called for me, “It’s reckless! Who knows what we’ll find! Also, it’s getting dark,” hHe reasoned, hoping to change my mind. It wasn’t going to work –; I wanted to hunt for answers myself.

I sighed, knowing he wouldn’t follow me, and climbed back up to him, not before scooping him up in my arms. “Listen,” I said, cutting his protest off, “I know that you’ve been solving mysteries, and I want to solve some myself as well, so I believe we should investigate.” I hope my thoughts were convincing. I wanted Teddy to cooperate.

He looked to protest but stopped, thinking before crossing his arms, “Ok,” he said, unsure at first, but then looked at me and nodded, “Ok.” He still looked unsatisfied, but I didn’t care; I got my way and was proud of it. “Put me down,” he then argued, trying to get out of my arms.

I snickered, “Whoa, I didn’t know I was that uncomfortable.” I laughed when he grumbled in defeat of my hold, “There’s no way you’ll make it down there without crippling your other leg.” I was able to get a smile out of that comment, “Let me help.”

He accepted my idea with one request, “Do not drop me.” He ordered as I gave him a look.

I scoffed, “What do you take me for? I’ll be careful, stop worrying.” I complained as I made my way down the slope. I felt him wrap his arms loosely around my neck, his body warm against mine on this cold night. I watched my footing as I didn’t wish to cause more harm to him; his phone flashing provided enough light for me to see. He’s been so uptight the whole trip, stopping often to look around, mumbling to himself, I had no idea what was going on with his mind. I shouldn’t worry about it; he’s been enjoying the mystery and has been telling me everything. It was nice seeing him enjoy himself. I was caught up in my thoughts again as I felt my foot catch on a rock. I was able to keep my balance, not before he almost choked me to death as his arms tightened around my neck. He sighed, “You need to focus.” He noted as I grumbled at his statement.

“I am focused!” I huffed, getting him to arch an eyebrow before looking away. With a last step, I reached the solid ground, the willow tree blowing mesmerizingly in the wind next to us. I could just stare at its hanging branches, but that wouldn’t be the best idea. I didn’t have time to think as Teddy started to wiggle around again. “Ok, now put me down, I wish to be on the ground.” I didn’t argue with him about that. I put him down softly, helping him steady himself. When I finished, all of my attention went to the willow tree; it looked haunting in the dark. I turned on my own flashlight to get a better view of it. Wow, it was tall. I smiled, “Isn’t it wonderful?” I asked Teddy, waiting for a response.

I felt him limp next to me, “It is a beauty,” he agreed. I felt excited again. It was weird seeing a willow tree in the middle of a forest; maybe a ranger planted it here. It felt like when we were younger, exploring with curiosity.

I walked forward a little before turning back, “Come on, let’s go inside.” He didn’t say anything as he followed me. I slowed down a little to match his pace. I had a strange feeling that if I lost sight of him, he would disappear. When reaching the willow, I opened up the leaves for Teddy to safely pass through.

He hummed, “There’s no need for this.” He tapped on the branches of the tree, amused by my presentation.

I smirked, “What? Can’t handle a little charity?” He elbowed me in the stomach before continuing his path. It wasn’t hard, but it made me grunt. I wrapped my arms around my stomach as I bent down, trying to ease the pain. I stared at the grassy ground only to notice a lightning bug appear. It was blinking its light, which confused me. I was sure lightning bugs in the Pacific Northwest don’t blink their light, but I guess I was wrong. “Wow, can you believe it?” I asked Teddy, spinning around and making sure he was still here.

He looked around, observing the many sparkling lights in the air, “No, I cannot actually, fireflies aren’t supposed to glow.” He said, scoffing at this occurrence.

I shrugged, “Well, maybe we should enjoy it,” I exclaimed, turning off my flashlight to get a better view of the lights. Teddy did so too. I lost sight of him, but I knew he was still there. I thought I would never see them again when we moved back, but this was a pleasant surprise. I took on my childhood instincts as I tried to catch one, holding out my hands ready for a light to pass me. I watched as I targeted one to the left of my side. I held out my hands as I trailed behind it, closing my hand around it. “Teddy! I got one!” I cheered, wondering where he was in the dark.

I heard clapping, “Great job, I’m proud of you.” I giggled at his comment, “Bring it here, I’m resting near the tree.” I walked carefully, making sure I didn’t hit anything on my way. When I couldn’t find him, I made a fist with the lightning bug in it and took out my phone light. When I spotted him, I stopped in front of him. He was rubbing his leg again, muttering words under his breath.

I cleared my throat, and he looked up, surprised, “Didn’t even hear you,” he said, looking at me interestedly.

I ignored his looking eyes and smirked, “Yeah, I’m stealthy like that, you know? I move through the shadows~” I snickered as he rolled his eyes. I sat down next to him, turning off my flashlight and revealing the lighting bug. He took his interest now to it, holding his hand next to mine so it could crawl over to him. His hand was warm compared to mine, coming to me in a shock. I watched as it crawled around his hand, all the way to the tip of his index finger, before it spread out its wings and flew away. I took in my surroundings with the lighting bugs flying around inside the willow tree at night. It was peaceful, just being alone with Teddy seemed like all I wanted right now. I sighed, finding peace in the night. I looked over to him, and he was leaning back with his eyes closed. I wondered if he fell asleep. I leaned in to see if he would wake if I got close. I wasn’t able to see his face well.  He did, his eyes opened, and he looked over at me, “W-what are you doing?” He asked, leaning a little away from me.

I grinned, “I just wanted to see your pretty face.” He grunted and looked away. I giggled, “Hey, don’t turn away from me,” I taunted, poking his cheek, “Come on, Teddy, don’t be selfish,” I taunted again, laughing at his disapproval. He was fun to bother; he got so annoyed and embarrassed easily.

I kept poking him till it was enough for him. He finally sighed and took my hand, stopping me, “Ok, ok, enough,” he grumbled, “Cute how you want attention from me.” He counteracted, making me gasp.

I felt my heart beat quicken as I tried my best to calm it down, “Oh p-please, you’re just…fun to bother,” I huffed, finding the sudden heat from my body annoying.

He responded with a groan, which I didn’t expect from him, “I can’t even see you.” I got flashbanged by his flashlight as he shone it in my eyes.

“Jesus!” I yelped, rubbing my eyes, “Give me-” my words halted when I saw his face. He wasn’t wearing his glasses anymore; his blue eyes glowed from the light. He looked…weird without them, yeah, weird. “What happened to your glasses?” I asked, like it was absurd.

He rolled his eyes, “I took them off, no point in seeing things when it’s dark, speaking of dark, don’t you think we should get going?” He stated, scratching the back of his neck.

I shrugged, “I don’t think that’s needed, it’s not like we’re cared about anyway.” He hung his head. I hated what I said was true. My mother is always busy, my eldest sister is away in college, my other older sister attends the same high school as me but pretends I don’t exist, and my younger brother spends all his time with the babysitter. I was easily forgotten. I didn’t know how Teddy’s home life changed, but his reaction expresses his silent agreement. I quickly changed the subject, putting my hand on his shoulder., “Besides, what a captivating place we found…” I whispered, looking around at the view. I let go of him and stood up, walking around the tree, “I mean, think of what this is to us! A place to run away and hide from the world! I mean…” I expressed, “This…is…” My words trailed off as I found a statue on the other side of the tree. I couldn’t see it that well.

“An escape,” hHe exclaimed, finishing my sentence. He waited for me to continue. When I didn’t, he spoke, “Jax? Is everything ok?” I heard him ask.

I felt my breath heavy as I almost ran to the other side, “Teddy! I-” I ended up bumping into him. I got no warning that he was standing up or turning off his flashlight, so I blamed him. I steadied him quickly, grabbing his shoulders. “Oh, uh-” my face flushed as I backed away awkwardly, “Good. Follow me!” I didn’t give him time to process or say anything as I took his hand and dragged him behind the tree.

He gasped when he saw the statue, “Vulgtmor ot Perdita.” He muttered.

I stopped. What the heck did he just say?! I had no idea what language that was or how he even knew it, but before I could ask those, a bigger question popped into my head: “How do you know my grandmother’s name?”

He faced me, not saying anything. I felt myself shrink; I had no idea how he was looking at me, “My grandfather knew her…” he said softly, ending it there. I felt a shiver through me; it wasn’t even that cold. He never said anything about knowing my family. My mother sure never brought it up…“Anyways,” he swept it to the side, “The statue…” he showed his light onto it. I hurried close and kneeled next to it. I didn’t want to let go of his hand; it felt like the only comfort I had. It was a woman, her arms uncannily twisted around her, her hair mangled and messy. Her jaw unhinged in a smile, eyes wide and black. A black liquid dripped down her eyes and mouth. It was almost like she was…laughing. Actually, looking at it more, it looked like my grandmother. How did he know? I felt my hand slip from his. It seemed like he still wanted my hold but gave up and let my hand drop.

I went to my knees, to look at the description, H’ throdog hup ephainafl’fhtagn shugnahoth hup Fucik gn’th’bthnk ng ot ephaiai kadishtuor ng c’ ephaiah ‘drn cry ng vulgtlagln. That made no sense. The only words I made out were “cry” and “Fucik,” which was my last name. It sorta looked like the words Teddy said, maybe he would understand those words, “Hey, can you…” I turned to look at him, but he wasn’t there. Where did he go? I stood up to look for him, but that’s when it hit me: I didn’t know where I was. It seemed to be daytime, but the sun and sky were covered in thick fog. I walked to the other side of the tree, and no one. I whimpered, going back to the statue, making sure it didn’t change. I was alone, in the middle of nowhere…I sat down next to the statue, checking my phone. It didn’t turn on. Now I was alone. I put my phone down, staring into the foggy abyss, my breathing increasing in speed. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to provide any comfort. I got sudden dizziness over me as I closed my eyes. I didn’t like this. My ears were ringing, and I could barely see as tears streamed down my face. I was alone in the middle of nowhere. It was really getting to me now. I worried I wasn’t going to see anyone ever again. Was Teddy stuck in this world, too? Maybe I could find him. Oh, please let me see him again. My fear turned into sadness as I curled up, allowing myself to cry. Why did I have to let go of Teddy’s hand? It even seemed like he didn’t want to let go…he didn’t want to let go. My dizziness suddenly went away quickly, as I thought, did he know I was going there? My tears subsided as I let that sink in. He tried to save me. Why didn’t he try again? What’s up with that? I shook my thoughts away, trying to smile. No, he would never. I decided to look back at the statue, as if it would guide my thoughts. Her neck was now snapped in my direction, looking down at me. My eyes widened as I screamed and shot up, stepping away from it. My breath was still heavy, but not that much anymore. My dizziness suddenly sparked as I couldn’t even think of the loud ringing. The ringing. It sounded like cries…moaning…screams. I looked at the statue again, its black, teary eyes looked back. I blinked back tears, feeling my hand shake. I held it out in front of me like it would ward off the stone structure. It didn’t move, just kept staring back at me. As the cries became clearer, I had only one instinct now: run. I was quick on my feet as I ran from it, the stone statue that doesn’t move. The cries seemed to be following me. I plugged my ears as I kept running. It seemed like I was in a liminal space as the fog just kept going forever. It was still behind me, and it felt weird that I was trying to outrun sound. I looked behind me, trying to capture any form that was making the sound. Nothing. I suddenly hit something hard and fell to the ground. I grunted, sitting up as I rubbed my head. My eyes shot open, looking up slowly at the thing I bumped into. I was surprised by what I saw. I was expecting some demonic creature, one directly from the pit of hell, come to torture me…Instead, I was met with those sleepy ocean eyes. “T-Teddy?!” I said and asked, looking around to make sure there wasn’t anyone else. I also noticed that there was no more crying or screaming as well.

He was also breathing heavily, his eyes wide like a cat’s. He smiled, “Oh, thank god,” he cried, “I thought I was alone.” He seemed stressed, which was unusual, but I was so unfocused that all I was doing was staring at his beautiful face in awe. “I-I think we’re in an alternate reality. I don’t like the look of this place.” He was looking around as he said it before looking back, “I was walking around aimlessly till I found you. Did you see anything?” He knelt to be at eye level; it was a quick moment.

I realised I was staring like a fool; however, my words acted quicker, “You have beautiful eyes…” I said, awestruck.

He arched his brow, “huh?”

Those words hit me like a brick to the face as I stammered for the correct ones, “NO! Wait! The statue, yes, uh, I-it was here, I was hearing those cries and screams again, yes!” My voice was in a higher octave. It felt funny. I was stressed a second ago, and here I am, acting nervous and embarrassed.

His emotion changed, something kinda like worry, “Like, the cries when we were younger?” He asked in a hurry. When I nodded, he scowled, “I can’t believe this, you are ok, right?” He reached out and caressed my cheek.

This move shook me. He never did something bold like this. It left me flustered and confused, “Uh-” I cleared my throat, trying to hide my blushing face as the dark didn’t protect me anymore. “Yes, now I am,” I admitted. Seeing him again just made me feel better overall; my dizziness was gone, I could breathe easier, and it was almost uncanny.

He sighed, “Great, now we just need to find a way out.” He stood up as quickly as he did and offered me a hand, “Here, let me help.”

I was about to take it, but I halted, the realization finally hitting me. Taking notice, there were so many signs already. I looked back up at his soft face, now becoming jagged, like a fading memory. I shot up, stepping away from him, “You’re…not Teddy,” I ran my fingers through my hair, “No, he can’t help anyone up with his crippled leg…” my voice drifted as I looked down at his leg, it was still bandaged, but it wasn’t the same.

I looked up and bounced back. There weren’t his blue eyes anymore; they were black, his mouth in a wide smile, “S̵̬͂ǫ̶͂ ̴̛͕y̵͖̓ȯ̴̘ư̴̢ ̸̮̐f̶̰̆i̴̛͍ṇ̵̿a̸̛͎l̶̘̏l̷̝̏y̶̪͋ ̷̦͛r̵͉̂ę̷͌a̷̟͂l̵͈̊i̶͑ͅz̴͓͊ė̵̝d̵͇̒?̷̪̻̈́̿” His neck snapped, hearing his bone break. I covered my mouth as I watched in horror, his body quickly rotting and decaying, his skeleton becoming visible. He, no, it was laughing, sounded like nails on a chalkboard. His body finished as his bones started to glow, morphing into a different figure; however, it didn’t finish morphing as it screeched in its light and suddenly…everything was black.

My eyes slowly opened. It was dark again, and I couldn’t see anything but black. There was a whisper into my ear, “Llll r’luh ot kadishtuor l’ ya, ymg’ ahor nafl mggoka ya Jax mglagln.” His breath tingled my ear as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I was being cradled. I was sitting on his lap as I felt one arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me from falling, as his other arm was propping my head up in a comfortable position. I knew immediately who this was, Teddy. I know it sounded off to just assume, but he’s the only one I ever heard speaking in that language, and I recognize that soft and calm voice from anywhere, even if it is whispering closely to my ear. All my thoughts and feelings came snapping back when he said the same chant again. I got a sudden shot of blood in my mouth as I began to cough. He gasped, and his head shot back to observe me, “Oh, thank god,” He said, relieved.

Hearing that line awoke something in me as I shot up, backing away, “No! Please!” I shouted, falling to my knees, “Please stop torturing me, there’s no need to hide your appearance in the form of someone I care about,” I begged, tears swelling in my eyes, “Just…show yourself…” I looked at him, ready to watch his eyes turn black, his body decay, and turn into a glowing being. But no, he just stared at me in horror, his face worried and scared.

He stood up, having used the tree as his support, and slowly approached me, limping. He wasn’t limping before, maybe, no, it could’ve adapted. He slowly fell to his knees with a grunt as he observed my face. Just wait, it’ll start crying again. “Jax, w-what happened?” He asked softly. He reached out to cup my face, but stopped, pulling his hand in before taking my shoulders. There were no tears, no darkness; it was just the quiet boy, “Did it hurt you? What happened in your dream?” He then motioned to his face, “You have blo-” I pounced onto him in a tight hug before he could finish, wanting to take in the warmth of his body.

He grunted, not returning it at first, before ever so lightly placing his fingers on my back. I felt tears prick my eyes, “Oh, it’s you, it’s you,” I cried, hot tears streaming down again. I hated to ruin his jacket, but I couldn’t hold it in after what I saw being done to him.

“Jax,” he paused, as if thinking about the words, “Something happened, right?”

I kept crying till I caught my breath again, “yes but does it matter, you’re here, and that’s all that matters to me.” I felt my tears subside, my relief turning into something raw for him, “I care a lot about you ok? I saw something horrible about you being used, I…I…” I gasped for words, but they didn’t reach me. I wanted to finish the sentence, but I couldn’t.

I was glad when his light touch turned into him wrapping his arms around me tightly, “I was so worried beyond belief when you fainted, you just fell right there, hitting your head when you did.” He dug his face into my shoulder, shocking me with a flush to my face, “I needed you back.” His words hit me again, but in a good way. It made me feel wanted for once, not forgotten by someone. Not being noticed by my family and being a social outcast in New York, knowing one person still wanted me made me feel welcomed. 

When I opened my eyes again, there was something I now noticed: we weren’t under the willow tree anymore. “Hey, what happened to the willow? You didn’t carry me away, did you?” That would’ve been too much for his leg, so where were we?

Then he said something, two words that made me shiver, made me question reality, “What willow?” He asked.

I tried to pull a joke from that, but there was nothing; he was serious. My smile dropped as I found words to explain it, “You know…the willow…with the lighting bugs and…” My words drifted again as I watched him try to remember. Did he forget everything? “You…don’t remember?” I asked, worried that those memories with him had been lost. It was such a beautiful moment, I’d hate it if he lost them. 

“Jax, I-” he scoffed, smiling, “You must’ve been dreaming or something?” He looked at me, confused, his eyes squinted as if trying to read me, “Because there’s no way I could carry you out of sight from a big willow.” I stood up, bringing out my flashlight. He was right, there were no signs of any willows close by. I rubbed my head, trying to think back to it. Yeah, my memory was crystal clear. Then where is it? It should’ve been close…but it’s not. I turned off my flashlight in defeat. Maybe on our way back, we would find it. I looked up at the sky; it was dawn now. We’ve been out in the forest all night.

“Huh,” I concluded, scratching my head, “Maybe I was dreaming.” I walked back to him, helping him stand, “Should we now make our way back?”

He nodded, “Yeah,” he looked up at the sky as well, “You should also tell me about the statue, the cries, and the glowing deity, yeah?”

I was about to agree, but there was a sudden roar approaching us. Teddy moved quickly to my side. It was only to realize that a truck that belonged to the rangers slowly stopped. He came out of the car to check us out, rubbing his eyes like we were ghosts, “Are you two lost?”

Teddy and I exchanged looks before I shouted back, “Yes.”

He then looked around as if there was something following us, “What the heck are you two doing out in the woods at the crack of dawn?”

That was a good question. I looked at Teddy for an answer, but he just shrugged and motioned me for an answer, “A walk?” I replied, and Teddy slapped his forehead at my question.

“Well then, come on, I’ll give you two a drive out.” We didn’t argue over a free lift. I carried out Teddy again over the steep area; he was silent the whole way. So was I, I couldn’t wrap my head around the willow tree never existing. Was it that thing in my dream haunting me in the woods? When we passed the spot where the willow was…it was nowhere to be seen.

I asked the ranger, “Sir, do willows grow here?”

He eyed me from the mirror, “They do, but not in these parts.” Was his answer. I stayed silent after that; that couldn’t be true. Those memories were so vivid. “Teddy?” I whispered to him. He was studying the journal again, I huffed. Must he do that every second of his free time?

He looked over to me, “Hm?”

I fiddled with my hoodie strings as I mustered up my question, “I agree to hallucinating the willow, yes, but…” I gulped, feeling the words on my tongue, “Do you remember what I said to you during those times?” I was kinda hoping he did and didn’t at the same time. I didn’t get his thoughts on my idea of an escape for us two.

He closed the book to think before smiling, “Yes, I do, an escape, right?” I felt anxious as I nodded, waiting for an answer, hoping it was a positive outcome, “I like that idea, I would love to spend more time with you now that you’re back in my life.” He reached out to touch my face, but pulled his arm back before he slowly reached again.

I allowed him to place his hand on my face, feeling his thumb wipe back and forth. He did the same thing to the other side, licking his sleeve to wipe my face, “Ok, what are you doing?” I felt like I was being cleaned like a cat.

“You had blood on your face,” he said simply as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Oh,” I concluded, as he finished. I forgot about that.

After he finished cleaning me, he tucked a hair strand away from my face, “There,” he said, satisfied, brushing off his hands like it was a hard job.

I then remembered what I had said in my dreams, “Teddy?” he looked back at me from the journal. I know what I said in my dream was because I was dizzy, but I wanted to see his actual reaction, “This is random, but…I think you have beautiful eyes,” I gave him a sheepish smile.

He squeaked, taking off his glasses, to look at himself in them. He smiled softly, looking back at me, “You think?” He asked with hope. The sunrise hit through the window perfectly, reflecting off his raven hair. The light illuminated his face; it was the first time I noticed a beauty mark on his chin as well. No, I didn’t think, I knew. I kept that last part to myself, as I nodded, watching his face turn a pretty pink. He put his glasses back on, “Thank you…I appreciate it.”

I unbuckled and slid over next to him, “Aren’t you going to return the compliment?~” I asked smugly, nudging him.

He scoffed and looked over to me, observing my features, “Is this just to boost your ego?” I gasped, offended as he laughed, before saying, “I admire your red hair, it matches you, passionate and fiery.” I ran my fingers through it, suddenly liking my hair more than I ever had. I knew when he said “passionate,” he meant “very emotional child,” but I decided to still take it as a compliment.

I nodded, “Thank you,” I said meaningfully. He nodded, softly smiling with his flushed face, and went back to the book. I scooted over and leaned against him, finding his warmth again. I was surprised when he snuggled closer to me as well. I exhaled, closing my eyes, relieved to be near him again. After that dream, I didn’t know if I wanted to leave his touch. Ugh, I’ll have to tell him about that glowing deity…Wait, I never told him about that…how does he know? He shouldn’t even know about the statute, as it was under the willow, so…I turned to ask, but just when I opened my eyes, I caught a glimpse of him drawing a statue underneath a willow tree in the journal. When he felt my shift, he closed it just as I saw it. I looked through that memory again, it was a willow tree…the willow tree. “Teddy,” I said, it wasn’t a question but more of a demand to listen to me. When I caught his attention, I asked my question, “You wouldn’t hide things from me, right? You would be open to tell?” I stood there, looking. I hated the long pause as I felt weight on me, growing, this time I wanted the answer.

“Jax,” he shifted to fully look at me, “know this, there are some things in the world that you wouldn’t understand, but I swear to you, I would never hide things from you when you need to know them, I could never leave your side no matter the costs, can you understand that?”

My answer was no and yes. What did he mean when I needed to know them? So he’ll hide things from me and wait till the time is right to tell? At the same time, however, I am reckless and impulsive, so I get that he might tell me something, and I might make an impulsive decision out of it. I was also surprised to hear him say he’ll never leave my side. It made my heart somersault. I put a hand over it to feel its now quick beating, as if it was talking to me. I nodded as he smiled at me, this time leaning against me. I returned the comfort as I thought to myself. He understood me enough to know my recklessness, which I see in myself, to keep some things from me. I looked back at him, smiling. I trust him, and he trusts me. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend in life. If he knows some things might not be good for me, I trust him to know he will tell me when the time is right. I felt a lot better getting those things off my chest as I focused on the bumping of the road, the sun rising, and the warmth of his body as he looked through the journal, willing to help me with the mystery. My best friend, my Teddy bear.